Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Perplexity

There’s a feeling in me that I want to explode and be lost in this cold March night.
Am I in love? Am I lacking someone’s attention? Am I just bored? Am I just sleepy? Am I longing for somebody’s love? Am I missing a person? Am I angry? Am I sad? Am I losing my self? Am I embarrassed? Am I excited? Do I want contact with someone? Am I okay?
With these thoughts that makes me confused, is it proper to say that I’m full of problems?
I went outside and looked at the moon, stared at it for a moment and I didn’t know what to think about. I went back in the house and did the same thing – stare at something w/ nothing going on in my mind.
What I want to know is why I am feeling like this. What am I going to do? What’s happening to me?
I lay myself on my bed and tried to settle my mind. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t. I was on my bed for almost an hour until I realized the thing that’s been confusing me. I am missing a person. She’s someone who is very close to me. For me, she’s my best friend. But sometimes, I ask myself “Could it be more than that?”
It could be. But I’d rather sleep and meet her…in my dreams.

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