Friday, March 13, 2009

Homecoming

March 12, 2009 (Thursday) – one of my most heartfelt days.
It’s the day when I came back to UP Baguio. It’s the day when I came back home.
I’ve been to Baguio for a couple of times before but I’ve never visited the University of the Philippines since I left it 2 years ago. It means that I had 2 years of not seeing my classmates, two years of not seeing my friends.
The moment I woke up, I’ve never felt so much excited about anything. I fixed myself, took a bath, ate my breakfast, put my clothes on, and I was ready to go.
I rode a van. During the ride, I savored every memory I have left when I stayed in Baguio. After an hour and a half, UP was already within my sight. I got off the van. I walked towards my past. Every step that I took led me closer to my school, my classmates, my friends, my comfort zone, and my home. One by one, I stepped my feet. Each and every step felt like my feet have chains wound around them. Every step was heavy and was a burden to me. I told myself that those steps represented all the days from the day I left to the day I returned.
Inch by inch, I finally reached my destination. I saw my some friends and my university. I realized what changed, and still appreciated what remained. I smelled the trees and our Biology laboratories. I witnessed students walking to and from buildings and remembered that I was once like them. I remembered the times when I bought snacks from “Manang Mani” and “Manang Banana cue”. I remembered the moments when my friends and I sat on the lobby floor and killed the time by just talking and laughing about things. I remembered when we walked our way to SM City Baguio to amuse ourselves after a sanity-wrecking exam. I remembered when I walked in the rain under my umbrella while my shoes swept the splashing raindrops. I felt happy. I felt great. I felt calmness. I felt home, again.
I remembered the days when I walked in and out of the campus, strolling beside the famous symbol of the University of the Philippines – the Oblation. I also remembered when the weather gets unbearably chilly we’d embrace each other just to keep ourselves warm. I remembered how good these people are and I believe they’re still the same. I remembered those days of my stay.
Hours passed and I came back to reality. I cherished every minute of my homecoming. I embraced the moment when I get to experience my past the second time around.
I tried to deny it but my clock insisted that it was time for me to go. That’s when I started to think about a saying - “History repeats itself.” I proved that it is true. It is true that I’ll get to experience the things that happened before but one of the things that bothered me a lot was the fact that I would have to experience the aches of leaving for the second time and that I would have to turn my back on my home and say “Goodbye.”
Though it’s difficult, it’s still a journey that I’ll always remember.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

A Symptom Revealed - A Poem (AMKS)

AMKS

Acute Matt Koval Syndrome
Have you ever heard of this doom?
If not, you’d better read this poem
To know the cause and effect to whom.

Matt Koval you know him eh?
Then let his videos come your way
You want some fun? You’ll get it here
Wanna be awesome? Watch with your peer

If you’re indeed a YouTuber
Then watch now, you’ll be happier
It’s a sensation that’s getting bigger
Every new video, bet it’ll be better

Tressla, a must-learn word for everyone
Watch a video, you’ll never get done
This entertainment that is so pure
Is a sickness that I won’t intend to cure!

Anne Frank: Quoted


  • “My nerves get the better of me: it is especially on Sundays that I feel rotten. The atmosphere is so oppressive and sleepy and as heavy as lead. You don’t hear a single bird singing outside, and a deadly close silence hangs everywhere, catching hold of me as if it will drag me down deep into an underworld.”

  • “I have faults, like everybody else, I know that, but they thoroughly exaggerate everything.”

  • “I am my own skipper and later on I shall see where I come to land.”

  • “Why shouldn’t I follow the way my heart leads me, if it makes us both happy.”

  • “Riches can all be lost, but that happiness in your own heart can only be veiled, and it will still bring you happiness again, as long as you live. As long as you can look fearlessly up into the heavens, as long as you know that you are pure within and that you will still find happiness.”

  • “Let the end come, even if it is hard; then at least we shall know whether we are finally going to win through or go under.”

  • “Quite honestly, I can’t imagine how anyone can say: ‘I’m weak’, and then remain so. After all, if you know it, why not fight against it; why not try to train your character? The answer was: ‘Because it’s so much easier not to!’ This reply rather discouraged me. Easy? Does that mean that a lazy, deceitful life is an easy life?”

  • “Laziness appears attractive, but work gives satisfaction.”

Perplexity

There’s a feeling in me that I want to explode and be lost in this cold March night.
Am I in love? Am I lacking someone’s attention? Am I just bored? Am I just sleepy? Am I longing for somebody’s love? Am I missing a person? Am I angry? Am I sad? Am I losing my self? Am I embarrassed? Am I excited? Do I want contact with someone? Am I okay?
With these thoughts that makes me confused, is it proper to say that I’m full of problems?
I went outside and looked at the moon, stared at it for a moment and I didn’t know what to think about. I went back in the house and did the same thing – stare at something w/ nothing going on in my mind.
What I want to know is why I am feeling like this. What am I going to do? What’s happening to me?
I lay myself on my bed and tried to settle my mind. I wanted to sleep but I couldn’t. I was on my bed for almost an hour until I realized the thing that’s been confusing me. I am missing a person. She’s someone who is very close to me. For me, she’s my best friend. But sometimes, I ask myself “Could it be more than that?”
It could be. But I’d rather sleep and meet her…in my dreams.

Cryptic Deaths - A Novel (Chapter 2)

Everybody was packed in one place discussing things. I didn’t trust the police so I walked away from them. I was already about 200 meters away from everybody when Kyle looked at me, maybe he was curious why I walked away. I waved my arm for him to come.
Kyle approached and asked, “What are you doing?”
I gestured for him to be quiet and said, “I’d like to wander around. The police might have been missing a thing.”
“But they said they couldn’t find anything,” he demanded.
“But I feel there’s something here. Let’s take a walk. Maybe something will show itself.”
“What?!”
“I mean what if evidence is hiding, waiting to be seen. Now come on!”
He wasn’t speaking after I spoke but he first started our walk. Even though the police didn’t allow it, we took the risk.
We walked around the lake and investigated the place. We stopped beside the large rock where Marie jumped and laid our eyes on everything that were there - the lake, the rock, the sky, the sand, the trees, the bushes, and the blackish plasma-like substance on a bush’s leaves. I thought it was just a drop of sap from a tree. It took a moment until I realized it.
“Kyle! Look! Over there! The bush! There’s blood on it!” I said.
But after a second, thoughts came rushing into me. There’s blood on the bush. Was it Marie’s? If it was, then someone, or more than one, has dragged her into the woods. There’s blood here then this must be of great help. Now we could locate the body. Body? Full of blood? What was done to her? Why was she killed?
Kyle saw the blood immediately then gasped. He looked very stunned. “Let’s tell it to the police.”
“Huh?” My mind was sprinting around in my head. Kyle pulled me very hard as if my arm was going to be ripped off from my body. After 2 seconds, I realized we were already running towards our group.
“Mr. McAllen! We saw blood on a bush over there!” Kyle exclaimed while catching his breath.
Mr. Victor McAllen was the chief investigator for this incident. He ordered us to tell him where the bush was.
“Go at the right side of the lake. Stay at the shore. Go straight where the huge rock is, and the bush is there, under the trees,” I explained.
Mr. McAllen and his members went straight to where the bush was. They came in no time then saw the bush where it was. Blood was wiped on its leaves. It’s like something was hauled into the woods. It must be Marie’s body.
The police entered the woods and followed a trail, a trail which the ground and the bushes were distorted from their original positions.
They walked slowly, scrutinized the place to collect evidences. After over a hundred meter, the trail broke. The chief ordered his men to search the place. The suspect must’ve carried the body somewhere.
After thirty minutes, a police called his chief. They saw a woman’s body. They took pictures of the place, and the most important of all, the body. They also searched the place for evidences.
They found two very unusual things, things that can hardly be considered as weapons for killing. Positioned beside the body was a wallet sized calendar of the year 2008 in which the number 28 under the month of October was encircled, and a small dictionary starting from “Z” - “A”.
The very sight of the body was the most mind-boggling of all. The police found out that the body was Marie’s because it had a blue butterfly tattoo beside a brown heart-like birthmark on the lower right part of its back. The police saw it easily because her body was lying face down. The upper back was badly wounded and the cuts resembled a stanza:

The first is thee,
The next is your tee,
I’ll stop your pee
Then hey! You’ll be free!


Each letter cut deep into her skin. Blood had spread and covered her back and had dripped to the ground.
We saw the evidences and the pictures. The calendar and the dictionary gave us an unbearable confusion, and the sight of Marie’s bloody body left us bewildered and crying on our knees, vomiting.
...

Marie’s death made a great impact on our lives. But no matter what, our lives kept on moving. Even though the police failed to solve the crime, my friends and I didn’t give up on looking for answers and searching for the truth.
Marie was buried after 5 days from the day of her death. Her memories gave us the strength and inspiration to work hard to achieve justice. But as we searched for the truth, we found out that terror was just beginning.

Cryptic Deaths - A Novel (Chapter 1)

I went to the park to have lunch with my friends. They’re Dave, Daniel, Kyle, Phoebe, Meg, and Marie. All of them were already in the lake that I was the last one to arrive. I didn’t expect to see them in the lake because it was 12 noon and the sun was warming their skin madly. As I was coming, they called for me to join them. But as I was preparing to go to the lake, I heard them crying Marie’s name.
“Marie!”
“Oh my God!”
“Help! Help!”
I didn’t know what to do.
I ran to where the sound was coming from and saw them at the lakeshore looking very scared. Phoebe and Meg hugged each other with Dave at their side. Daniel and Kyle stayed in the lake diving, took turns trying to find Marie under the water.
I was just standing there, thunderstruck. I was really confused and was unable to move any muscle.
Minutes passed and everybody was exhausted looking for Marie and crying for help. But after a few minutes, my friends argued again. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t know what had happened. I didn’t know how to react.
Darkness filled the night and all of us were silent, stunned about the circumstances that came our way. Marie was one of our dearest friends and we knew nothing to do if ever she’s already dead. We strongly asked ourselves what to do. Must we tell it to Marie’s parents, call the police, or wait for her to come back, hoped that she was still alive.
We had our camp there and tried to sleep through the night, but we couldn’t sleep. We thought “Is she okay?”
In the middle of the night, we’ve agreed to pack our things up and go straight back home to our families.
We got aboard Kyle’s car, which was the only vehicle that was there. Kyle started the car’s engine, but something went wrong. The engine failed to start. We were very frightened. We went very wild. Meg and Phoebe shouted and cried. All of us talked and screamed our lungs out and didn’t understand what the other said. I told them to calm themselves but it was no use. Seconds were wasted and our energies depleted. We went still. I felt something weird and saw that my friends felt it too. All of us looked back at the lake. We saw a woman standing over the water, dripping wet, with a sad face and a bloody head, with her hands trying to reach us.
We froze, stared at the woman’s face and it was Marie!
Again, Kyle tried to start the engine and thankfully, it worked. He stepped on to the accelerator and we were off quickly, running away from our friend.
We cried during our journey back home. Marie’s appearance played in our minds.
We were on the road for a long while until our nerves calmed and I was the first one to talk and asked what happened in the lake. Dave, the most outspoken in the group, said, “We were having good time there in the lake, swimming. We were amazed when Marie dived from a big rock but all of a sudden, blood spread in the lake. We panicked and tried to find her but we didn’t succeed. Then the rest, I think you know, and that will be our unforgettable history.”
“I think when we were leaving the place, Marie… Oh Marie!” Meg inserted.
“I know it’s not easy to accept that she’s already dead but we can’t do anything now, so continue what you were just saying,” I said.
“I can’t believe it, she’s dead!”
“No one can accept it that fast but let us try. Please, Meg, be calm,” I saw Phoebe was crying too.
Meg wiped her tears and continued, “When we were leaving the lake, I think she showed herself to tell us not to leave her. I saw her trying to reach us with her arms. Oh God! How I wish this didn’t happen.”
The day after, we came back to the lake. The police were there and told us that they have seen nothing, barely nothing.
Her relatives would keep on grieving for not having anything after Marie’s death, not even her body.
Marie would be in the lake and wait for her friends to go back and save her grieving soul. She would stay there and haunt anybody who gets there…forever....

“Amity” - A Poem


It’s been a long time that I didn’t speak
The words just clung on my tongue’s peak
Now this is the time I’ll let them out
For you to know what it’s all about

From the very first time we got very close
I’ve felt that happiness always flowed
We followed the beat and gracefully danced
’Til the music stopped, I got exhausted

Then we went home and bid goodbyes
You didn’t know I made long sighs
As I thought of you along the way
And prayed that you wouldn’t go astray

So as I eat, I think of you
When I would pray, it’s all for you
And as I sleep, I think of you
And in my dreams, there’s me and you

After time passed, we got closer
We have been always together
Until I said this, “I love you”
Then you revealed your feelings too

But after that, we were very shy
To meet again, I didn’t know why
I cried so much ‘coz I missed you
While hoping that you missed me too

I tried to make things to be better
But as time turned, our times got bitterer
I ignored you, you did the same
Until our Christmas party came

All of the class danced to the beat
With you and me who danced in it
Oh yes we danced and sang and played
But our closeness was still buried

After the party, I hugged the class
And reserved you to be the last
So we could talk to each other longer
But we couldn’t deny that time was over

Then we went home, I drank my lime
While I imagined of our good times
Now it’s already our vacation
And it’s already our “Winter Season”

‘Til Christmas day and New Year’s finished
It’s also time our break has vanished
And now that all our class resumed
Everyone’s relaxation is doomed

Then we’ve waited for graduation to come
We’ve heard “goodbyes” from everyone’s tongue
But months before that said occasion
We didn’t talk again so I bellowed

I was very sad for what had happened
I thought my heart has already harden
I asked myself how it would happen
Because my heart wasn’t even broken

I just wanted to rest my mind
From thinking of you all the time
Because I’ll just be very sad
Maybe I’ll cry again very bad

But all I wanted now is to tell you
I want to be very close to you
But before our college days are through
I’ll repeat this again, “I love you!”

Gust of a Mistral - A Short Story

The moon seemed like an orb in the middle of a perfectly formed ring of colors reflected from the gracefully moving clouds in the night sky. The wind blew with a soft whisper from the dancing pine trees with robins sleeping on their branches. My body shivered a bit as the winter cold bit through my skin.
“Why won’t she let us in? It’s so cold out here and I feel uneasy. This night is unusual, it creeps me out! Don’t you think...? Hey! You’re not paying attention. Are you okay?”
“What? Oh yeah, I’m fine. It’s a little bit cold out here and freaky too.” I said after hearing nothing but her last three words.
“Yeah! That’s what I just said!” exclaimed my friend Cleo.
“Ha, ha! Sorry.” Our words were made unclear by the rushing winds. “All the lights are off and we called out a couple of times and nobody answered back. Do you reckon she’s in that house?”
“With a doubt, maybe she isn’t,” answered Cleo.
“Let’s go home instead?” I suggested.
“Yes, I would love to. But in the middle of this night, it’s impossible that a vehicle would pass this way. I just wondered why Christine’s house is located this far from town.”
“We’d rather walk, if you’re not a coward,” I said after she permitted me to grin.
“Yeah, funny! Of course I’m not a coward! It’s just a kilometer away anyway.”
We walked towards the town proper and passed through a stretch of field of tall, wild grasses. We were just silent as we walked on the rocky road, jolting every time we hear a rustle from the tall grasses. Cleo was shaking and looked very nervous while she clung to my gently swaying arm. I didn’t complain about her squeezing it a couple of times.
Cleo glanced occasionally behind us, feeling that something or someone was following us.
“Aaaah!” screamed Cleo. My eardrums nearly burst.
At once, I faced what she was looking at and saw two bloated eyes in a tree. “Hey! That’s just an owl!”
“Yeah, I just realized.”
“Aaaah!” she screamed, again. For some time, I thought I’ve lost my hearing.
“Oh come on! It’s just my mobile phone.” I laughed and she apologized. I read the message and it was from Christine. I read it to Cleo – “Sorry we can’t have our movie marathon tonight. I’m out of town. I’m



here at my grand mom’s place and my car broke. Maybe we’ll have it next weekend. Sorry.”
“Good thing we decided to go home. But maybe walking isn’t an idea to be comfortable with,” she complained.
After a long, creepy and chilly walk, we finally reached Cleo’s house. After I bid goodbye to her, I walked several blocks more and reached my house and slept in my peaceful room.
I was in a long, narrow hallway. I couldn’t recognize the things that were there. As I walked, a blurry image of Cleo appeared in front of me. Her eyes bulging, her mouth dropped open, her body laid awkwardly on the floor with her arms spread wide, and her neck… her neck was bleeding, spurting so much blood from her slit throat. I ran to her and wrapped her in my arms, crying. Her eyes were soaking wet and she tried to tell me something but no words came out and blood spurt more wildly until she closed her eyes and finally rested in peace.
She died.
What happened to her? Who did it? Why was she killed?
The phone rang as if it was very angry. I woke up, breathing hard, sweating a lot. I let that moment sink into me because I knew it was a dream, just a bad dream.
The phone rang wilder so I picked it up instantly. I knew it was Christine the moment she spoke with fear evident in her tone, “I heard Cleo is in the hospital, is she okay?”
The words struck me like a burning arrow. The dream… could that be true? Thoughts circled in my mind as fear flooded me. Without a thorough conversation, I asked her instantly what hospital she’s in.
I immediately took off, thinking about my dream. My mind and heart battled each other. I hoped Cleo was okay but my heart thumped crazily, expecting the worst.
I entered her room and saw her on the bed. She looked at me in the eyes and right away, I burst into tears. I knew at that moment that she was alive. I was embarrassed when she asked why I was crying. I just hugged her and cherished the moment.
“What happened to you?” Cleo asked while a smile painted across her face.
“Never mind me,” I said instead telling her about my dream. “You? What happened to you?”
“Ha, ha. It’s so funny. Last night, I ate an apple. I sliced it using a knife. I left the knife on the floor and after I woke up, I stepped on it. And now, I have 4 stitches!”
We talked and laughed until the day faded away. After all, everything was fine.